Exercises in Rudimentary Battle
by AllVowels
Summary: Responses to M&M's Fic Battle. Short stories based on various prompts. Includes crossovers/AUs with Once Upon A Time and Grimm.


Title: Exercises in Rudimentary Battle

Author: Allvowels

Summary: Responses to M&M's Fic Battle. Short stories based on prompts. Includes crossovers/AUs with Once Upon A Time and Grimm.

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Prompt #1: Jeff learns that Annie is a wesen, just like him! (Crossover with Grimm) by eleventhimpala

* * *

"Alright class, today we will be dissecting worms."

Annie's hand shot into the air.

"Yes Miss Edison, do you have a question?"

"Is there a way to opt out of participating in the dissection?"

"No!"

"But I'd really rather not cut up anything. There is a reason I went into Heathcare administration instead of just plain healthcare. I don't deal well with blood and guts."

Professor Kane sighed. "You don't have to do the actual cutting of the worm as long as you participate in the labeling of the diagram that goes with the worm."

Annie looked hesitant but took a seat near Jeff and the small tray with a worm in it.

"Thank you professor."

"I thought you'd have a stronger stomach after the way you nursed those soldiers back to health."

"That was different. I can deal with feathers, scrapes and Gatorade but not... Worms."

"Ah is the little lady afraid of worms?" Jeff taunted in a sing song voice.

"No!"

"You are!" He chuckled at Annie before picking the worm up and wiggling it in her face. "Annie's afraid of worms! Annie's afraid of worms!"

"I am not! Jeff stop it!"

"Nope." His wiggling of the worm caused it to brush against Annie's face. Annie let out an indignant shriek as her face suddenly morphed in front of Jeff's eyes. Her nose turned into a beak, her eyes widened and changed into a glittering shade of gold. Multicolored feathers surrounded her face as her small beak snapped up the worm and swallowed it whole. After the worm was gone her face morphed back.

Her eyes peeked over at Jeff to see if he noticed. He did.

His eyebrows were in his hairline as he gazed at her. "I guess you aren't afraid of worms. I thought seltenvogel were extinct."

Annie shrugged indifferent and watched as Jeff's face morphed into a alley cat like creature.

"Klaustreich..."

"Weider Klaustreich actually. That's why I have such a strict diet and exercise routine. I don't like the drugs though. I have to stay away from mice; they are my downfall."

The two nodded in silent understanding, the others didn't need to know about their special 'talents.'

"Professor Kane?"

"What now Miss Edison?"

"We need another worm..."

* * *

Prompt #2: Jeff attempts to write his wedding vows to Annie without drinking (humor, fluff) by Iknowitsbutters

* * *

Annie had locked him in the guest bedroom with a pen and notebook, thankfully not a Hello Kitty one, and ordered him to write his vows. She wouldn't allow him to have a dictionary or whiskey either.

"Look what happened last time, you almost married Britta."

"Point taken. But Britta isn't here so that's not a possibility. Just a little whiskey?"

"No."

So here he was sitting in the guest bedroom trying to think of poetic words that would ensure he'd get lucky on his wedding night.

"Dear Annie, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand, two one-thousand. I could possibly get away with that. She's young; she probably hasn't seen Who Framed Roger Rabbit? But Abed has. He might slip into Dr. Doom's character and ruin the wedding."

Sighing in his frustration, he threw the notebook down and knocked over the table lamp breaking it.

"Oops! I guess I have to fix this now." He walked to the door and jiggled the handle but found it locked. "Annie I broke the lamp let me out!"

"Are you vows done yet?"

"I've made some definite progress." He lied as the empty notebook stared up at him.

"Slip the notebook under the door. I want to read them before I let you out."

"I am hurt that you don't trust me. I thought our love was built on more than that. Don't you want to be surprised on our wedding day?"

"And I thought that you thought I was smarter than one of your old floozies that would fall for a line like that."

"Wait what?" As he figured out her odd sentence he realized she took his words as an insult. "No I know you are smarter than that! And who uses the word floozy anymore?"

"This woman does bozo. I won't let you out until I see beautiful words in that notebook."

It was several hours later when Annie decided to take pity on her poor fiancé. When she unlocked the door she found him passed out on the small guest bed with the notebook held protectively to his chest. Gently removing it, she flipped through the first few pages viewing Jeff's slanted handwriting that had been hastily crossed out.

_You light up my life._

_Roses are red, violets are blue, all I can say is I want to marry you_

_I do_

_To you I belong_

_This I promise you_

Underneath the horrible attempt at vows, which were just crappy love songs and a first grade level poem, she saw a small passage.

_No one knows why someone as beautiful and kind as you would marry someone like me. The honorable thing would be to let you go find someone better. But I'm selfish and I like who I am with you and I love you more than I ever thought I could.__  
_  
She set the notebook down and crawled in next to him.

"I like who I am with you too."

* * *

Prompt #3: Annie helps Jeff write a nice speech for Andre and Shirley's vow renewal; any rating, fluff/humour by Crittab

* * *

"Jeff, you need to focus. The ceremony starts in one hour and you have to write your speech."

"I don't want to write a speech. I don't even like Andre."

"Why don't you like Andre? Because he cheated on Shirley? She's forgiven him for that, and if she has, we can too."

"No, he wears those ugly Cosby sweaters. What self respecting man dresses like that?"

"One that would run away with a stripper?"

"He had to dress better before that. A stripper won't touch a Cosby sweater with a ten foot pole."

"Really? I thought strippers had daddy issues. Wouldn't it remind them of their dads?"

"That may be true. Next time Alan makes me go to the strip club I'll convince him to wear one. Either the strippers will shun him, or cry while giving him a lap dance. It'll make the night more entertaining."

Annie chose to ignore that last statement about Jeff visiting strippers. "Back to the speech. What are you going to say?"

"I don't know. Write it for me. You actually like them as a couple. I only like Shirley."

"Well that's the thing then, don't write it for Andre, write it for Shirley."

Later that day Jeff stood in front of a small group of people after Shirley and Andre renewed their vows.

"Being asked to give a speech at a wedding is like being asked to make love to the President. It is a great honor in theory, but I didn't want to do it."

At the few chuckles he received he continued, "But in all seriousness I'd like to address the groom. Andre, you are a lucky man today, because Shirley is one of the best women I've ever met. She loves her children with such a deep unconditional love, that it makes others jealous, because our parents never have and never will live up to her example. She has a passion and drive that will get her through the darkest of times, all the while keeping a smile on her face. She deserves a man that is her equal, so I guess it's a good thing you talked her into saying yes before she found him."

Jeff cracked a smile to play off that he was joking. He raised his glass in the air. "In honor of the bride and groom."

Everyone raised their glasses as well. Once the speeches were over, Jeff found Annie by the punch table.

"Jeff, that was beautiful."

He shrugged indifferently, "I googled it."

Annie knew better though. For all his macho posturing at times, he cared deeply for his friends, and those things he said about Shirley came from his heart.

Annie would let him keep his dignity for now and chose to pull him onto the dance floor instead.

* * *

Prompt #4: Annie tries out vegetarianism for Britta. Jeff makes her cheat. By butterbadger

* * *

"ANNIE!" Jeff's voice rang out through the hallway, causing the petite brunette to pause and wait for her tall friend to catch up to her. "I have a present for you."

"But it's not my birthday."

"It's to apologize for the other day. It was cruel of me to drag you to that steakhouse after you decided to be a vegetarian. I still stand by my argument that you shouldn't do something just because Britta showed you pictures of slaughtered animals, but if you truly don't want to eat meat anymore, I won't say another word about it."

"Thank you for respecting my choice."

"Of course it was your choice. Now go ahead and open it." He said while shoving a small pink box into her hands. There was a smiling cupcake on the outside.

"Does Shirley know you are frequenting a bakery that isn't hers?"

"Well when Shirley has her own bakery I will buy you apology cupcakes from there. Until then, enjoy your cupcake. It's gluten free."

Annie was warmed by Jeff's enthusiasm over her gift. She opened the small box and took a large bite of the dark brown cupcake with light brown frosting.

"Oh that is so good. Chocolate with maple frosting, right?" Jeff nodded his head, "Hmm, there is something else in here though. Something salty. Is it caramel?"

"Nope, take another bite and see if you can figure it out."

She took another large bite and shrugged her shoulders after a few chews to signal she didn't know.

"It's bacon."

Annie's jaw stopped moving as she processed Jeff's words. Her eyes widened in horror and she spit the remaining cupcake out into the paper in her hands.

"Jeff, how could you? I promised Britta!"

"I saw you eating a hamburger yesterday in the parking lot."

"It was a veggie burger?"

"Don't lie to me. You are bad at it. You need to learn how to hide better if you are going to break your promises. Or learn to not make stupid promises."

"I'm sorry! Your steak smelled so good and all I could eat was that stupid salad. And I was so hungry later. So I broke. Please don't tell Britta?"

"See that's a promise that I can't keep, so I'm telling you no. Teach by example or however that saying goes."

* * *

Prompt #5: Nick!Jeff, Juliette!Annie - What if all of the stories we've heard... What if they're not stories? What if they're real? By Mustbethursday3

* * *

_Today I brew, tomorrow I bake;  
And then the Prince child I will take;  
For no one knows my little game  
That Rumpelstiltskin is my name_

"What an odd old man. How did you say you knew him Jeff?" Annie questioned once they returned home from a barbeque held at the Hawthorne estate.

"That was Pierce. I went to school with him for a little while."

"And he made his fortune selling moist towelettes? I had no idea they were such a lucrative business."

"Some would say he has the golden touch. Any business he invests in flourishes."

"I would not have seen that man as the savvy business type, but I guess looks can be deceiving."

"You have no idea." What Annie didn't know was that Pierce was a Kleinermann, a small troll like creature that traded wealth and magic at the expense of others. His first stepchild was given to him for a new car. The second for a mansion. The third was given in exchange for an acting career. Unfortunately each 'wife's' fortune soon turned to tragedy after their wishes were complete, leaving the children alone under his spell.

Jeff snuck out while Annie was asleep to visit the trailer his Aunt had left him. He scoured the books, but the one scroll on the subject was in Polish.

He picked up his phone and dialed a number, "I need your help. Come to the trailer now."

"Cool. Cool cool cool."

Abed showed up shortly after the call and looked over the ancient scroll that belonged to the Grimm's.

"It says that a Kleinermann cannot have his own children, he's impotent, therefore he barters for other people's children. The more children he has, the more powerful he becomes. They will seem to exceed at insignificant things while causing destruction around them."

"Such as a moist towelette empire, while each of his wives die mysterious deaths?"

"Exactly."

"Does it say how to defeat him?"

"To release the spell one must simply utter the Kleinermann's true name."

"I know his name!"

"Not his true name."

Jeff and Abed left hours later, nowhere closer to defeating the evil Pierce Hawthorne. As he climbed into bed, he woke Annie up.

"Where have you been?"

"Oh, just a case."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jeff hesitated, how much could he tell her without telling her what he was?

"It's about Pierce. There is an accusation against him but he has no priors under his name. I was thinking that maybe it's an alias, but I have no clue what his real name is."

"It's Piercinald Anastasia Hawthorne."

Jeff looked at Annie startled, "How do you know that?"

"Some old man came out in an strange looking wig and scolded him using that name. It reminded me of when my mom caught me doing something bad and used my full name to scold me. I assume it was his father. So I assume that is his real name."

"Annie you are brilliant."

"I know. Now would you please come back to bed?" Jeff snuggled in next to her. Pierce could wait another few hours.

_Kleinnermann roughly translates to 'Little Man'_

* * *

Prompt #6: As the curse is broken, Jeff and Annie "wake up" to realize they are really Charming and Snow (or any other fairytale couple you prefer) who were transported to Greendale after the Evil Queen first cast the curse. Bonus points if you can come up with fairytale counterparts for the other group members. By Shli1117

* * *

Annie felt funny. There was a tingling that started in her heart and spread throughout her body. Her vision blurred as memories from long ago came rushing back to her. The bell to the diner sounded and she swung in her chair to see the tall outline of Jeff.

"Charming…"

"Snow…" The two rushed together and experienced true love's kiss once more.

"Snow, Charming, we have to go. The evil queen must be dealt with." Abed stood in the door with Troy at his side.

"Peter! Tink! It is so good to see you again."

"I'd be happy if I hadn't continued to grow. I'm an adult now! I was meant to be a child forever!" Abed said while gesturing to his tall lanky body.

"You think you have it bad? Look at me? I'm huge! What happened to my beautiful dainty wings?" Troy cried in anger.

"Calm down you two, we have more important things to worry about. You mentioned the evil queen. Where is she?"

The two boys shared a look, "Well, she is no longer a she. It seems when the curse was cast she was transformed into a thin bald male."

Jeff and Annie exchanged a look, "The dean! That would explain all of the strange outfits and why he is obsessed with Jeff!"

The four stormed out of the diner and ran into Britta.

"Do you remember magic stuff too, or am I just ridiculously high right now?"

"Robin Hood now is not the time. I know you are used to lazing about in the woods all day when you aren't stealing from the rich but we have to deal with the evil Queen Pelton right now!" Annie cried.

"Well what are you going to do? Does the queen still have magic because if I recall correctly there is no magic here."

"The blue fairy!" Abed cried. "She can help us. After all she turned Pierce… I mean Pinocchio into a real boy!"

Troy interrupted, "I'm getting confused. Should we call each other by our old names or our new names?"

Annie shrugged, "I have gotten use to the name Annie."

"I've gotten used to my new name too."

"Then it's decided. We call each other by our new names. Now off to find Shirley and then defeat the Evil Dean Pelton!"

* * *

Prompt #7 Annie takes Jeff to a place called Storybrooke in the Dreamatorium. By _carly_

**Warning:**Slight sexual situation. Nothing serious or graphic.

* * *

"Let me get this straight. You want me to pretend to be a prince, but the prince has no idea who he is because he is…what now exactly?"

"Everyone was cursed and brought into our world, to the town of Storybrooke. They have no recollection of who they really are because the evil queen took away our happy endings."

"So I'm pretending to be an average guy?"

"Jeff you aren't taking this seriously!"

"How can I? I'm in a green striped room, being told to use my imagination to become a prince."

"Not a prince! Aladdin was a street kid."

"Ah, so a homeless person then. Why didn't ask Abed to do this?"

"Because I didn't want him to be Scott!"

"Who's Scott?"

"Aladdin's name in our world!"

"And who are you supposed to be? Please give me our world and fairy tale names so I can try to keep this straight."

"Princess Jasmine/Olive."

Jeff scratched his head. "And you thought I'd be the best person to be Aladdin?"

Rolling her eyes, "Of course. He is a street smart handsome young man, who can talk his way out of anything. He also  
pretends to be something he is not to get the princess. Plus he has great abs, so I'd say you are a pretty good Aladdin."

"Annie, if you wanted me to take my shirt off, all you had to do was ask." He said while lifting his shirt up over his head. Annie's face flushed as she took in his naked chest.

"So it was Olive right?"

Annie's glazed eyes raised to meet Jeff's, "Huh?"

"Olive right?"

Her smile widen when she realized he was going along with it.

"Yes, my name is Olive. What is your name?"

A crooked grin crossed his face, "My name is Scott. Your father hired me to landscape."

As the two got into their role playing, the room morphed into the town of Storybrooke. Olive stood in front of a stately mansion, talking to her father's newest landscaper. There was something about him that seemed familiar. Something that made her feel alive again. Gazing into his eyes she knew she'd follow him to the ends of the Earth and back.

"Want to go back to my place?"

A blushed crept up her neck at his boldness, but she conceded. The room morphed into a crappy studio apartment with a bed and a single hotplate. A cat ran up to greet them when they entered.

"What's her name?"

"It's a he, and his name is monkey."

"Ah. Cute."

"Are you nervous? We don't have to do this." She wasn't sure if he was talking to her as Olive or as Annie, but either way, she was not backing down. She grabbed his face and brought his mouth to hers. His tongue was quickly introduced to the warm cavern of her mouth. Since he was already shirtless, her small hands had free reign to trail over his muscled form.

Her shirt soon hit the floor. Scott slowly lowered Olive to the floor while trailing kisses down her throat to her bra line.

"A turquoise bra? Aren't you a naughty girl…" As he pulled the cup down to get better access to her breast the door was flung open.

Troy and Abed's excited chatter over their latest adventure abruptly stopped.

"The Dreamatorium wasn't made for this!"

"I concur, that's what your bedroom is for."

Annie huffed while putting her shirt back on, "Well some people," glaring at the two, "Blocked the way to my room."

"Well it's unblocked now! Now go so we can cleanse this place."

"Come on Jeff," Jeff grabbed his shirt and followed Annie out of the room.

"That was hot."

"The role playing, or getting caught by my roommates?"

"Both. I'd rather not have Troy and Abed looking at your unmentionables again, but if you want to visit Storybrooke again, give me a call. "

_Jasmine is part of the Olive family and Scott was the name of the actor who voiced Aladdin in the Disney movie._

* * *

Prompt #8: Prompt: Jeff/Annie/Britta as David/Mary Margaret/Kathryn Nolan. By shli1117

* * *

Britta sat on the small couch in the Dan Harmon's office. After Jeff had woken up from his coma, Dan had been there for her, always at her side to boost her back up. She had no one else to turn to in this difficult time, so he seemed like the most logical person to go to for advice.

"You think he is having an affair?" Dan gasped in shock. "What happened?"

"Well he doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember anything about us! I tried to tell him about how he concocted this deliberate ruse to get me to go out with him, but it didn't help him remember a thing. I see how he looks at this other woman, the one who was reading to him in the hospital, and I just feel like there is this connection between them."

Dan slapped his hands on the desk, "Here's what you do. You go confront him. He is YOUR husband, not that little girl's. If you truly love him you have to fight for him! And if that doesn't work, you confront her! They do not belong together, you two do."

"You are right!"

"Go to him and show him who his true love is!"

Britta found Jeff in the cafeteria, engrossed in a deep conversation that caused the petite brunette sitting across from him to shake with laughter. She responded to him by waving her hands in front of her, accidently knocking over the coffee next to her.

"Oh no!"

Jeff's warm chuckle followed Annie's cry and he grabbed napkins trying to dab at her cardigan and skirt. She smiled warmly and batted his hands away. Britta saw her excuse herself and leave the room. It was her perfect opportunity to approach Jeff.

She slide into Annie's spot and saw his mouth quirk down in a slight frown.

"Britta? What are you doing here?"

"I came here to confront you about Annie."

"Nothing is going on between me and Annie. We are just friends."

"Don't lie to me I see how you look at her."

"How do I look at her?"

"I don't know because you never looked at me like that!" Britta took a deep breath to calm herself. "When we got together, everything was about getting in my pants. But it is different with her isn't it?"

Jeff's face grimaced, "I don't think we should be baring our souls in a cafeteria. Couldn't this wait until I got home?"

"No it can't wait! Because you are unhappy, and I'm unhappy."

"You are unhappy? Because of Annie?"

Britta took a second before answering. "No I was unhappy before Annie. Before the car accident. I was hoping that when you woke up, it'd be like a reset button and we'd go back to how it was before. But life doesn't work like that does it?"

"No it doesn't. Britta, I can tell in my heart that I love you, and I don't want to see you hurt. But that feeling doesn't even begin to compare to how I feel when I'm around her. She just…"

Britta rarely saw Jeff at a loss for words. "Completes you?"

"As corny as that sounds, yes."

"Well I've come to a conclusion. I'm not going to be miserable in a marriage with a douchebag like you. This is my decision and has nothing to do with Annie. I should have done this before, but I'm doing it now. Jeff, I want a divorce."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. When you were in a coma it was easy to forget all of your annoying habits, but it's all coming back to me now."

"Alright Celine Dion. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

As she walked away from her husband she heard him call back, "You deserve happiness too! I hope you find it."

She rolled her eyes, "It just doesn't fall into your lap."

Because she wasn't watching where she was going she walked straight into Troy.

"Or maybe it does."

"Let go of me! I can stand up by myself! And maybe what does? What are you talking about?" Britta chided Troy as he attempted to keep her up.

* * *

Prompt # 9: Both Jeff and Annie discover that each is reading a book no one would expect the other to read. By claymay83

* * *

Annie ducked through the library. She doubted anyone from the study group would be here right now, but her friends were unpredictable at times. All she wanted to do was get to the nice comfy chair that was hidden away in the back of the library and read her book. As she rounded the corner, she considered herself home free and swung her backpack around and unzipped it while she walked. The book was in her hand as she spotted someone in her chair.

"Jeff, what are you doing here?" Jeff was facing away from her, and hurriedly tucked something under his leg, hiding it from her sight.

"I was taking my standard midday beauty rest. This spot is perfect because no one knows it is here, so I don't have to worry about being fondled by the dean as I sleep."

"I know… well not about the dean part, but about the not being disturbed part. I came here to read."

"Well, the chair is already occupied, so you can leave now."

"No, you can sleep anywhere. Let me read in peace."

"Can't you read at your apartment?"

Annie gave Jeff a baleful look. "With my roommates?"

"I didn't think of that, but I'm not leaving. Go read somewhere else."

"I can't. You go somewhere else." Annie was using her formidable face trying to pressure him into moving.

"It's not going to work. Go away Annie." She just wanted some peace and quiet and he was refusing just so he could sleep when he should have been in class. Annie stomped her foot in frustration. "Yeah that makes you look real mature."

Her eyes narrowed. "I'll show you mature."

Annie grabbed onto Jeff's arm and gave him a rough tug in an attempt to dislodge him from the chair. Jeff wasn't expecting the physical contact and lurched forward. As Jeff was pulled from the chair Annie lost her balance, and tumbled to the floor with Jeff landing on top of her. Two small thuds were heard as two separate books hit the carpet.

Annie eyed the book that landed near her head, "Jeff, were you reading Twilight?"

A light blush stained his cheeks as he laid pressed against her, "What can I say? I understand the lure of young flesh."

"Oh." Jeff shifted himself onto his elbows to alleviate the weight he was placing on Annie when he bumped into the second book.

"Fifty Shades of Grey. Isn't that basically porn?"

Annie's face was bright as a tomato. "NO! It has a plot. I think. Every time I try to read it someone barges in. I haven't got past the first page."

Jeff stood up and held his hand out to help her up as well. "Let's make a deal. You don't tell anyone about my book, and I'll let you have the chair to finish up with your porn."

"Deal. And it isn't porn, it's a bestselling book."

"Sure, and I read Playboy for the articles."

* * *

Prompt #10: Jeff gives Annie his coat without any preconditions. By iknowitsbutters

* * *

The group was at Greendale working on their latest biology project. They were assigned to make their very own compost pile. Shirley was currently setting up a bin in the courtyard off of the cafeteria.

"That way people can throw their biodegradable waste in it after they are done eating."

"Are you sure anything here degrades? After a nuclear fallout the only thing that will be left is cockroaches and Greendale. Maybe they can get their degrees here after they take over the world."

"For that comment Jeffrey, you are in charge of finding of the brown waste."

Jeff's face wrinkled. "I'd rather get an F than touch brown waste."

"She means dried leaves and dead flowers. Not…_you know_. I'll help you." Annie smiled up at him and he followed her out of the courtyard without another protest.

Shirley sighed, "I know I should be upset for the lecherous look he was giving her behind, but at least it got him to participate."

Jeff was not actively participating. He was ogling Annie's derriere as she bent over to scoop up the dead leaves under a birch tree.

"Jeff!"

"What?"

"I asked you to hand me the bag two times. What were you doing?"

"Looking at the sky?"

"Oh, it looks like it's about to rain. We should get inside."

The two dashed to the nearest building as raindrops started to fall from the sky. Jeff pulled on the door handle but it refused to budge. On their dash to the next door the rain started to come down harder. Annie and Jeff made it under the awning of the next entrance to discover the door was also locked.

"What the hell? Why are the doors locked on a school day?"

Annie was shivering when she answered, "I don't know. Does the dean need a reason?"

"He probably has one but it's crazy. Are you cold?"

"Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be warm today. I will never trust the Greendale website's weather forecast again."

Jeff took pity on her and shrugged out of his coat jacket. he gently draped it over Annie's petite shoulders.

"Thank you Jeff. And don't worry, I remember the rules. I'll make sure to hang it on a wooden hanger once we get inside."

"Don't worry about. It's suede and wasn't pretreated with water repellent. Those water spots will never come out."

* * *

Prompt #11: Jeff and Annie in the worst first date ever. Humor. By ror123

* * *

Jeff knocked on the front door to the apartment Annie shared with Troy and Abed. Troy opened the door and gave Jeff a world weary look.

"Jeffrey is it? We've been expecting you. Please come in." Troy stepped to the side and gestured for Jeff to enter.

Jeff shot Troy a weird look, "Thanks. Nice sweater, did you borrow it from Andre?"

Troy chuckled low in his throat, "How droll. Would you mind taking a seat, we have much to discuss."

"Actually I'm here for Annie, we are going on a date."

"Oh I know. Please sit."

Jeff had no idea what was going on, but he took a seat across from Troy. At times it was easier to appease him than to try and figure out what was going on in his head.

"Okay I'm sitting. What do you want?"

Troy pulled out a plastic pipe and poured liquid into the opening at the end. He took several long puffs filling the living area with bubbles.

"I understand you want to take Annie out on a date. Is that correct?" Troy reached behind him and pulled out a large supersoaker, and began polishing it with a rag.

"Troy what are you doing?"

"I just want you to understand that Annie is a very special girl. Abed and I would be very upset if anything bad happened to her."

"Are you threatening me with water?"

Troy laughed darkly, "No! What kind of man threatens another man with water? This is red wine. One spray and your suit would be ruined. Comprende muchacho?" Jeff gulped and nodded. "Great! Abed bring her out!"

Abed entered the room dragging Annie behind him. She was wearing a poofy pink prom dress with a large bow on her chest.

"You look ridic…" Jeff back pedaled as Troy pumped the super soaker, "Ridiculously fantastic! Gorgeous!"

Annie rolled her eyes, "I made the mistake of telling Abed I didn't go to prom. He said it was a quintessential high school experience and that I needed to partake in it."

"I see. Well shall we be going?"

"No pictures first!" Troy squealed. He set the supersoaker down and posed Jeff and Annie for prom pictures.

"Our little girl is all grown up." He sniffled in between shots of the two smiling awkwardly at the camera, dread in their eyes at the thought of anyone seeing them like this.

Once Jeff had whisked Annie away from the apartment and they were safely in the car he was able to question her.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I think we are being used for a recreation of Pretty in Pink."

"So we are going to be trailed by two idiots with a camera all night?"

"Pretty much."

Jeff groaned in disgust.

"Don't look so glum chum. You at least got to wear a nice suit. I got stuck in this gown. I'm not even sure where Abed got it but it smells like booze and unfulfilled dreams."

"I didn't want to say anything, but you do smell really bad. I'm afraid it's going to rub off in my car."

"I can't be seen anywhere nice like this Jeff. I can't even be seen at Greendale like this. It's so embarrassing."

"Drive-thru?"

Annie nodded her consent. The two sat eating 99 cent bean burritos in Jeff's Lexus watching Troy and Abed in the rearview mirror.

"We really need to get new friends."

* * *

Prompt #12: The Study Group fall asleep and are locked in the library til morning. By itmustbethursday3

* * *

Jeff rattled the doors angrily. "Great, they are locked. Good job Annie."

"Excuse me, how is this my fault? You fell asleep too."

"You are the responsible one."

"I'm the youngest one here!"

"You know that doesn't mean anything when you are with us."

"I think it certainly means something when it comes to you? I'm _too_young..."

"How dare you..."

"Enough!" Abed called out while raising his hands in the air, "I say we make the most of this opportunity. Let's recreate our favorite library movie scenes."

"I call Bender!" Seven voices called out at the same time, as they glared harshly at each other.

"Well if we look at this logically, Jeff would be Bender the criminal, Troy would be Andrew the athlete, Annie would be Claire the princess, Britta would be Allison the basket case and I'd be Brian the brain. Pierce would be Richard Vernon the prinicipal who doesn't understand us. This could work."

"Who would I be A-bed?" Shirley asked.

"You are a good kid who doesn't get detention."

"Oh." Shirley preened a little at his words,"That's nice but I want to play too."

"Hmm. I can't think of a movie with enough parts that would fit us all effectively. Our best guess is to break into groups and reenact our owns scenes. Troy and Pierce are with me. Annie and Jeff are together and Britta and Shirley. We will meet back here in an hour to discuss the scenes we have chosen."

Troy and Abed rounded a stack of books in the library. Troy was humming to himself. Soon he was singing out loud.

"If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?"

"Ghostbusters." Abed called out.

"If it's somethin' weird and it won't look good,who ya gonna call?"

"Ghostbusters." The duo spotted Pierce draped on a couch snoring. Abed held up a calculator as if it was the ghost detecting device from the movie.

"It's here."

"A full torso apparition and it's real."

"So what do we do?"

"We've got to make contact. One of us has to try to speak to it."

"Hi I'm peter, where are you from originally?"

Pierce let out a loud snore.

"The usual stuff isn't working."

To their left something knocked into the stacks of books and made a small moaning noise.

"Oh my gosh! It's a real ghost. What do we do? What do we do?"

Abed held up his hand to signal that Troy should be quiet. He grabbed a handful of books and pulled them off the shelf. The pair peered through the opening that was created to find Jeff and Annie in a heated embrace. Annie had her arms around Jeff's neck and her legs were wrapped around his waist. Jeff's long arms had snaked their way up Annie's skirt.

"Whoa, what scene do you think they are reenacting?"

* * *

Prompt #13: Take one of the innocuous "Annie of it All" moments in Paradigms of Human Memory, and make it a genuinely flirty/romantic/sexy moment. Rating / genre your choice! By Rashaka

* * *

"I'm not talking to you." Annie said while taking the cafeteria booth next to Jeff's. She set her tray down and pulled out a book from her backpack which she had set on the floor.

"Good, I'm not talking to you either."

"Good."

"Great."

"Brillant."

"Fan-freaking-tastic."

Annie decided the best was to get through to Jeff was to ignore him and started to read from her textbook. Every few seconds she'd glance over at Jeff who was playing some stupid game on his phone to see if it was working.

"You know, I'd talk to you again if you apologized."

"I have nothing to apologize for."

The two sat in a stony silence, occasionally peeking at the other to see who would crack first. Annie sighed and took a large bite of her salad which preceded to slide down the wrong pipe. She turned in her chair and before she could even make the universal choking sign with her hands at her throat, Jeff was there pulling her up and performing the Heimlich maneuver.

The piece of salad flew from her mouth and she breathed in large lungful of air. She was mortified that Jeff had seen food fly out of her mouth, but she was quite content to be in his embrace. His arms were still around her as she glanced back.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem." Jeff's brain was frozen as he held Annie in his arms. The scent of her hair entered his nostril and travelled up to his brain which in turn was doing funny things to his heart. It was beating unnaturally fast, but he blamed that on the adrenaline.

Jeff had seen her starting to choke on one of the numerous times he looked at her since she entered the cafeteria. He didn't even know what he was doing; he just acted on pure instinct because Annie was important to him for some odd reason.

"Um… Jeff? You could let me go now."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure you didn't fall down. Your hair smell's really nice." Jeff's face flushed. That last part was not supposed to come out.

Annie blushed and looked up at him bashfully, "Well aren't you just a knight in shining armor? Do you want to sit with me?"

"I thought you weren't talking to me?"

"I got over it."

* * *

Prompt #14: On Mothers Day, Annie laments on how her mother is ashamed of her, which makes Jeff spring into action - and eventually drives him to apologize for all the times he made Annie think he was ashamed of her too. By iknowitsbutters

* * *

Shirley, Jeff and Annie were sitting in the cafeteria when a child's voice rung throughout the room.

"Mama! Mama!"

Shirley's head swiveled around and a wide grin broke out on her face as she saw her three young boys and Andre.  
Elijah looked at baby Ben and tried to shush him.

"Ben, it's supposed to be a surprise."

Shirley heard Elijah as they approached and smiled reassuringly at him, "It's okay sweetie. I am surprised! What are you four doing here?"

Jordan rushed to answer and shoved a homemade card into her hands. It was covered in glitter and the edges were uneven. "We know Sunday is Mother's day, but we didn't want to wait."

"We made you a picnic for lunch!"

"And we actually helped make the food!"

"The boys and I wanted you to know how proud we are of you for continuing your education and still being the world's best mom. They wanted everyone at your school to know too."

"Ooh that's nice." Shirley looked at Jeff and Annie, "I know we are supposed to work on our project, but could it wait a little bit?"

"Go have fun with your family. We can wait." Annie sighed as she watched them go.

"What's wrong Annie?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"Don't give me that. That sigh was a 'something is wrong but I won't tell you unless you ask' sigh. So I'm asking."

"It's just… Shirley looked so happy to get a homemade card and picnic lunch that probably consists of peanut butter and jelly."

Jeff looked at Annie confused, "And this upsets you because?"

"My mother would have looked at that card and told me my ratio of glitter to dead space was off, and I wasn't precise enough when cutting it. And she never would have been happy with a homemade picnic lunch. Everything always has to be perfect. I always had to be perfect." Annie paused as she sniffled, "Now she won't even talk to me. She's too ashamed of her pill popping daughter who lost her scholarship to an Ivy League school."

"Well then she's an idiot. How could someone be ashamed of you?"

Annie looked at him and she spoke softly, "You've been ashamed of me. You've been ashamed of the whole group."

Jeff look startled. When had he been ashamed of Annie? He sorted through his memories trying to pinpoint to when she was referring too. There were certainly times where he had been frustrated by her and the group's antics. Other times he had been ashamed of himself and took it out on the group instead of looking at himself.

"Annie, if I made you think that I'm ashamed of you or the group I'm sorry. I never meant to make you feel like that. You guys are the most important people in my life, and no matter how frustrating you can be, I will never give up on you."

She softened a bit, but she still look unconvinced by his words. "You didn't want us to meet your lawyer friends, and we still have never met your mom."

"To be fair, those lawyers aren't really my friends and my mom… Well it's not that I don't want you guys to meet her. I don't want her to know what I'm doing?"

Annie's face morphed from sadness to confusion, "What you are doing?"

"She still doesn't know about my not so legitimate degree."

"Jeff! How come you haven't told her?"

"She was so proud when I graduated and became a lawyer. I don't want to disappoint her."

Annie reached over and took his hand in hers. "You aren't a disappointment. I'm sure she'd be thrilled that instead of giving up on being a lawyer you went back to school to get your degree."

"And I'm sure if your mom could see you now she'd realize what a mistake she made by letting you go. Her loss is our gain."

Annie scoffed lightly, but at least she was smiling now.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed. I'm currently debating if any of these could become longer fics, but I'm not sure yet.


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